I went in to the dollar store today and it is chock-a-block with goodies and doodads for… wait for it… Halloween. I felt ill, depressed, saddened by the untimely end of summer. The October weather we are enduring is bad enough. Jack-O-Lanterns are a step too far. I am a victim of retail SAD.
The retailers will tell you that there are all sorts of good reasons for these out of season displays and for the fact that you can’t buy a pair of kids mittens in January, after they have lost their 4th pair at school, but I say enough is enough.
I don’t want to buy snowsuits in August for a child who might grow 2 or 3 inches by the time the first flakes hit the ground.
I don’t want to buy grinning ghost tchotkes in August. Or paper turkey Thanksgiving centerpieces.
I don’t want to buy a new lawn Santa in September and I don’t want to buy Mother’s Day stuff in January. Really. I don’t.
‘So don’t!’ I can hear you saying. ‘No one is forcing you!’ I can hear you yelling at me. Except if I don’t, like the long gone mittens of yore, I will not find what I need at the right time. Am I right?
We have become a last minute generation: last minute specials, last minute travel deals, too busy to plan last minute shoppers. So, retail world, let’s embrace the last minute. Seasonal items should be available 30 days prior to the season / holiday in question and, for season clothes, at least 30-45 days after the start of said season. I don’t want to see flip flops in February, unless someone is taking me with them on a trip to somewhere hot and sunny. I really don’t.
**Just to be clear, this article is meant to be satirical. Don’t get your knickers in a twist. **