Dating After 40?

ONLINE DATING form:

  1. Name: Chantal S.
  2. Screen name: AppleJack (“If they don’t know about My Little Pony, they’re probably not a good fit”)
  3. Age: 42
  4. Status: Separated/Divorced
  5. Religion: None
  6. Kids: 1
  7. Education: University
  8. Height: 5’8″ (“If I stand on my very tippy toes… all the time!”)
  9. Weight: 135 lbs (“if you lop off my boobs and my butt… and a little belly too”)
  10. Interests: Reading, writing, movies… (“If I add ‘moonlit walks on the beach’, I’ll officially become a cliche!”)
  11. What am I looking for: Man, 40-50 age range. Prefer someone with kids. Funny is good. Smart. A reader would be best. If you can sing “Let it Go”, you’re in!
  12. What I am not looking for: A health nut (“Wine is a food group in my world”); an exercise nut (“I don’t do jumping jacks. Ever. And what the hell is a burpee?”); anyone with ultra-conservative, right wing religious or misogynistic tendencies? (“Too far?”)
  13. Upload picture: (“Oh. My. God.”)

Submit form? Y/N

The first thing I wondered as my mouse hovered over the Y was ‘what if no one answers me? How embarrassing?’. Then I wondered ‘what if they DO? what if they turn out to be a freak? what if they are weird? what if they think I’m weird? or gross?’

I have been out of the world of dating for such a long time and even when I was in it, way back when I was thin and childless, I was not very good at it. So imagining how this was going to go now, when I am way less thin and have a 5 year old in my life was so very hard to envision.

I hit Y.

And then I closed my laptop and tried to forget about it.

1:30 am: I had to take a peek to see if anyone ‘mailed me’ on the site.

Image: sheknows.com

Image: sheknows.com

3 ‘mails’.

Number 1:

Subject Line: ‘Hi! I’m lonely and looking for love’

Delete.

Number 2: 

Subject Line: “Hi AppleJack. What are you up to tonight?”

Booty call or just bored at 2 a.m.?

Didn’t delete but was not sure what to answer. Didn’t want to look eager.

Number 3: 

Subject Line: “Hi! Welcome to the club.”

Funny.

I opened the mail and the first line: “How old is your kid? I don’t have any but I LOVE My Little Pony! I totally got that reference! Did you hear about the ‘brony’ convention last year? I was there. I was dressed like Rainbow Dash, wings and all. Were you?”

Delete.

Delete profile. Delete. Delete. Delete.

This is going to be harder than I thought.

 

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10 thoughts on “Dating After 40?

  1. Brony convention?! =D

    It’s a wild, confusing world, but you’ll figure it out. Have fun! It’s an interesting experience that will give you tons of material for your blog ;), until you meet “the one.” And make sure you read online dating safety tips before meeting anyone.

    What site(s) have you joined?

  2. Back in the day when I was giving online dating a shot I encountered lots of …. interesting characters. Fortunately I weeded them all out a the email phase. I also met some genuinely great guys, and went on some fun dates. It was good for me to just get out there, meet people and have some fun…it also helped me to realize what I wanted (and didn’t want) in a partner.

    The thing that I liked about online dating was that it gave me the opportunity to meet people that I wouldn’t otherwise meet in my day-to-day life. Think about it — if we have full time jobs, how many opportunities do we have to meet people on an average day? Not that many.

    Chin up. Dating sites are completely full of weirdoes. Don’t let a couple of sketchy guys scare you off. However, if you’re not feeling ready, then you’re not ready, and there’s certainly no shame in that, either.

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