Why I am not a Kindergarten Teacher

A few weeks ago…

Email Subject: Volunteers Needed!

Email: Hi Room 1** Families!

We need a few volunteers on Earth Day (April 22) for Scientists in the School! You would be needed for the whole morning to help out with

Image: Marketingforscientists.com

Image: Marketingforscientists.com

Earth Day activities.


‘Hey! I can do that!’, I thought to myself.

Email Reply: Count me in!


Come Monday night at 11 p.m., remorse was setting in over my exuberant offer to participate, but I shook that off as just being the result of tales told by other Moms about how tiring this kind of volunteering is and decided, very uncharacteristically, to view this as a positive outing.

What does one wear to volunteer in Senior Kindergarten?

“Things that don’t show stains”, my mother replied.

Hmmmm… Good point.

2.75 hours later, I am home, cuddling my coffee and propping my eyelids open with pieces of the stir stick.


They say Kindergarten kids utter 600+ words per day. I think you could safely triple that. Just this morning! 26 kids (plus Nikki). All wanting to know ALLLL about me in the 20 minutes that I had them at my table.

“Are you Nikki’s Mom?”

“Why do you always pick up Nikki? Doesn’t she have a Dad?” (Yikes)

“What does Nikki like to eat for dinner?”

“Nikki said you let her have juice. I’m not allowed to have juice.”

“What’s your name?” (My answer? Mommy. After which, I got ‘the look’. You know the look if you have teenagers but apparently that look is starting earlier and earlier, apparently).

“How old are you?” (Ummm. Older than you.)

You get the gist of my morning.

Did I already tell you that I AM EXHAUSTED? How their teachers do this every single day, I will never understand. The kids are wonderful, polite, sweet kids, but WOW… They have a LOT to say!

I know at least that I made ONE good career move in my life…



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