My friend Alex Durrell wrote a post today on her blog: I Don’t Blog, but if I Did… entitled “Waving my White Flag” and I was elated! She said everything I have thought for a very long time about so much that is written about parenting.
I love this section in particular:
“There are children out there living with abusive parents, kids with no food, no shelter, no hope while you spout off about organic-free-range-quinoa-essential oil-attachment parenting-rear-facing-five-point-harness bullshit relentlessly.
Listen to me:
If a child is fed and clothed, it doesn’t matter if the sustenance came from a breast or a bottle or whether the clothing is organic cotton. Formula isn’t poison no matter how many times you say it is. Stop raining judgement down on mothers about whose situation you know nothing.”
It IS a tough line sometimes; that line between sharing and sharing in such a way that guarantees that someone will feel judged. Usually, what I write shows me to be a big parental dork, and that’s fine because if you can laugh a little and maybe take something away from my pieces because of my dorkness, then great! I’ve done my job.
Someone mentioned on Twitter that perhaps we internalize these statements as judgments more than we should. Perhaps. Or perhaps we internalize these statements as judgments because of the mountain of mom guilt that we feel from measuring ourselves against an unachievable yard stick. Annie, from PhD in Parenting, said something along the lines that it would be great if we could come up with a way to have these discussions without the judgement, but I honestly don’t think that’s possible. Parenting is SO personal; it’s so much a part of our being, our every day existence that it is almost inevitable that we will feel slighted at something said or written.
Anyway, it’s all given me pause to consider what I write and how I write it; to consider the audience and how they might feel when reading it. In the end, we’re in this together, right?