The other day, I read a post at Yummy Mummy Club.ca that blew my mind. Kat Inokai wrote on her blog: “Why Do We Think Showing Emotion Is a Sign of Weakness?” It’s about how we feel and how we function when we have lost something: a spouse, a child, a job, a life. I can completely relate to the sentiments she expressed in the piece.
So often, I feel like I spend my day pretending things aren’t the way they are, that they are infinitely better than they are. Why? Because I don’t want to be labelled as being a ‘Debbie Downer’. I don’t want people to avoid me because I have become somewhat toxic in my thought processes and toxicity is like an insidious spreadable disease, the avoidance of which is always preferable to dealing with it.
Kat’s piece reminded me that happiness isn’t an ‘all the time’ feeling. It’s not a permanent state of being, unless you are blessed or lying to yourself and others. Happiness is in, to quote my favourite book’s title, ‘the Hours’. It’s in the moments, the tiny fragments of time that suddenly fill with light and allow you to see beyond the mundane, the trivial, the frightening and the devastating so that you can see the good and the wonderful.
Tom, Nikki and I had one of those moments last week – during that warm spell of weather, we took an an impromptu trip down to Cobourg to say hi to the lake. We had a little lunch in a local restaurant and then walked over to the boardwalk. The sun was beginning to set, the breeze was warm and there was a swan in the water. A beautiful swan, all by itself, just bobbing along in the waves near the pier. The swan was so unexpected. The whole afternoon was so unexpected. It could have been boring or awful, as so many impromptu trips end up being. But it wasn’t.
So whether you are in that ‘place’ that is hard to see the light from or even if you’re not but one day might be, read Kat’s piece; and go and read “The Hours” by Michael Cunningham. You won’t regret either.