It’s My First Time… Don’t Judge…

Someone told me recently that in times of stress, it’s a good idea to take up a project. Nothing to big or too strenuous. Just something to keep the mind and the hands busy. So when I looked at the zucchini that my husband’s veggie garden started sprouting, I thought I had better figure out what to do with them or watch them go to waste.

Ratatouille? Nah. No way the kid would eat it and frankly, I’m not a major fan of it either.

Frittata? That got x-nayed by the husband. No reason. Just a flat ‘nope’ when I suggested that.

Then I remembered Kate Gosselin.

Yes, the infamous mom of 8 mentioned zucchini bread and how much her kids liked it, on her show once.

Okay, okay, I admit it. I used to watch Jon & Kate + 8. In my defense, I was pregnant and scared out of my mind. I had no pregnant friends who lived nearby – most everyone I knew had had their kids years ago. So watching her manage 8 kids and only partially lose her mind, screaming at her husband and chasing 16 tiny feet, made me feel like I could do it with just the one. One pair of tiny feet, that is.

I digress.

To Twitter I went and the very kind @Caitlin_007 shared her recipe with me. Via DM. I’ve never received a recipe in 140 character snippets before. It was interesting. Here’s how things went:

Step 1 – Assemble 1 1/4 cups of flour, 3/4 cups sugar, 1 teaspoon each baking powder and salt, 1/2 tsp baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg.

What kind of flour? Well, I had the white stuff in a bag and the brownish stuff in a canister. I don’t know what was in the bag exactly – it had a floury texture – so I did half white, half brownish. The sugar was lumpy – we never use it. Like ever. So I crushed the lumps and proceeded. I was okay until baking soda. Don’t have any. Not going to the store now. Hope it wasn’t important.

Step 2 – In a small bowl, whisk 2 eggs, 1/2 cup cooled melted butter, 1/2 cup plain yogurt and 1/2…

DM cut off.

Shit.

Okay, well I can do the rest. Except for one problem. I already put the salt in the dry ingredients and I just realized we only have salted butter. Sodium check anyone?

Step 3 – Vanilla extract and 1 tsp citrus zest. Stir your zucchini into the egg and then fold it all into the dry mixture.

Citrus zest. Citrus zest… What the hell is that? Oh right. Lemon zest… Don’t I need that weird tool we got for our wedding shower 12 years ago that hasn’t left the drawer since? Where is that thing? Here we go.

Now for the zucchini. Wait. How much? Do I chop, julienne, shred or shave it? OMG.

DM @Caitlin_007.

Shred. 1 cup. Okay, that’s not going to use up even HALF of the zucchini sitting on my counter. Crap. Well, I’ve gotten this far. I’m going all the way, baby!

Step 4 – Bake it at 350 for 55 minutes then cool for 30.

Bake it in what? What size baking thingy? I photographed a loafish looking pan I had in the pantry, tweeted it and lo and behold, it was the right size!

A good piece of advice from @CK_Mom: Don’t over stir the batter. Good advice I guess, not that I would know since this is my first from scratch batter. Seriously. Don’t judge.

Okay. Folding the dry in the wet. Or was it the wet in the dry? Whatever. At this point in the process, I am pouring myself a little fun in a cup and folding that into my mouth.

Batter in the loaf pan.

Loaf pan in the oven.

85 minutes later: Voila!

And it’s actually edible. Thanks @Caitlin_007, @CK_Mom and @Karengreeners Couldn’t have done it without you!

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2 thoughts on “It’s My First Time… Don’t Judge…

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